‘See, when oor ancestors invented the bloody game, they understood two things. First, it takes exactly eighteen shots tae polish off a fifth o’ a bottle o’ Scotch, thus, the game o’ golf equates tae eighteen holes. Second, yer game’s ultimately a measurin’ stick of how well ye deal wi’ life’s shits and giggles. Like yer game, yer life needs work.’
‘Okay, Mister Golf Pro, what’s your advice?’
‘That’s easy. Any man who cannae keep his balls oot o’ the water needs tae get laid. Come on, let’s find my sister.’
“How d’you do, I see you’ve met my faithful handyman
He’s just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.
Don’t get strung out by the way that I look,
Don’t judge a book by its cover
I’m not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I’m one hell of a lover.”
(Source: fuckyeahtattoos)
[…] it is quite a risk to spank a wizard for getting hysterical about his hair.
– Howl’s Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Why does god need cheerleaders, what kind of team is he running?
– What my friends say when there are religious cheerleaders about.
About me
Becca. I love random. That's all you need to know.
